


everything I touch isn't dark enough

by echoesfromtheuniverse



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, August Angst, Dark, F/M, Feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-23 08:32:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15602442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/echoesfromtheuniverse/pseuds/echoesfromtheuniverse
Summary: A collection of ficlets for the August Angst project. reylo & possibly other ships.Yearn -The list of his mistakes resembles an astral chart by now: they’re endless, scattered across the galaxy, and they pulsate with blazing fury.Fate -She senses his presence even through the multiple mental barriers she has raised and itstings. Rey huffs in irritation – she doesn’t like this, the inevitability of it all.





	1. Yearn (07 August)

**Author's Note:**

> The lovely @benscalligraphy on Twitter has started the August Angst project; you can find a list of the prompts [here](https://twitter.com/benscalligraphy/status/1024694281913737216). This is my very shy attempt at participating, although I'm not sure how often I'll be able to fill a prompt.  
> Any kind of feedback is, of course, much appreciated. The title comes from the amazing Imagine Dragons. I apologise in advance for the angst - don't worry, I feel it too.

Delving deeper into the Darkness comes with a price and Kylo knows it. It’s one of the few truths that have stayed with him through the years, etched in his mind and skin. What is it, then, this feeling that gnaws at his chest and roars with disgust?  
The list of his mistakes resembles an astral chart by now: they’re endless, scattered across the galaxy, and they pulsate with blazing fury. The time has come to admit that he is nothing but a fool. He let all this happen. Not only that – he has _killed_ for this to happen.  
And all that’s left here for him to grasp are ashes, dust and charred debris. He watches the lucky dices that once belonged to Han Solo disappear from his gloved fingers and all he can feel is yearning. He longs for a home he has never known, for a forgiving embrace, for her. Rey. Rey, who is a chaser of ruins and a promise of redemption.  
All the anger has dissipated in light of a simple realization: he has failed her too. Kylo can’t stop grinding his teeth as a few tears roll down his clammy cheeks. He has never felt such desire and despair at the same time.


	2. Fate (08 August)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Today's prompt is Fate and we have a longer ficlet from Rey's pov this time. Hope you'll like it!  
> I also want to give a shout-out to eveyone who's creating wonderful fics & art for the August Angst. Go through the tag on Twitter and enjoy the painful awesomeness.

The atmosphere on this planet is thick with a sharp, ozone-like smell. Rey breathes unevenly as she tries to dress a particularly nasty wound on her leg. She’s hidden among the metallic skeleton of a fallen A-Wing, because old habits die hard. All she has to do is be patient and wait for the all clear from Finn. Then she will return to their ship and hug her friends and everything will be better.  
Right now, though, it’s taking every last shred of her willpower not to look for him. She senses his presence even through the multiple mental barriers she has raised and it _stings_. Rey huffs in irritation – she doesn’t like this, the inevitability of it all. And she’s not surprised when he finds her shortly after, still nursing her injured leg and cursing under her breath.

Rey dreamt of him when she was just a kid. She didn’t realize at that time, of course, as the only dreams that mattered back then were about her parents. Those were tales of sand, loss and piercing screams, so deeply rooted in her brain that she remembers all about them, even now. Still, she recalls seeing Ben’s face in her night reveries, his features sketched against the starry sky. That doesn’t prove the existence of the elusive idea called fate, but it comes awfully close.  
She stands when he walks closer and flinches immediately, willing her body not to show any more pain. This is the third time she’s caught sight of him during the last two years. It’s also the first time they’re alone after what happened in the forgotten throne room of the Supremacy.  
“I’m not here to do battle with you.” Ben blurts out, noticing how her right hand has gone immediately over the saber’s hilt. His voice is as deep as she remembered. Rey shakes her head because _of course_ he would say that, right after a skirmish between their opposite sides has taken place.  
“What do you want, then?” She retorts, voice tinged with genuine frustration. When he doesn’t say anything, she starts pacing nervously, eventually settling against the durasteel hull to rest her leg. Even the silence is draining her energy, making her vision hazy.  
“I called you ‘our last hope’, once. I truly believed it was the will of the Force.” She murmurs at last. She won’t admit that a part of her still thinks that.  
A surge of raw emotion flashes briefly through Ben’s eyes. He wears the expression of a wild creature caught by surprise in his den. It’s enough to make her want to get closer.  
“I don’t know what to do.” He finally speaks, as if defeated.  
“I know.”  
Her transmitter crackles back to life. When she raises her gaze again he has already turned and he’s walking away from her, his shoulders sagging in quiet resignation.  
Rey’s heart weeps for him and for the visions that never came true.


	3. Tears (09 August)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good day to you all! Today's prompt is tears, an old classic. This time I wanted to write a bonding moments between our Resistance girls. Hope you like it!

Rose Tico doesn’t need to be told that she’s a colossal mess. She’s a smart girl, she’s always been, so she knows exactly what to do on those hard days when she feels the tears pooling in her eyes. She’s hidden in a corner of the secondary hangar, the one full of what many would arguably call _junk_. It’s her shelter on base, the place where she allows herself to think and cry it out and take deep breaths until the grief ebbs away. It’s not the most efficient solution, but she makes do with what she has. It’s consistent with her technician background. It’s what Paige would do too.  
Today isn’t any different, at least until she hears some footsteps approaching. She hastily wipes off the tears from her face and she turns around. She’s mildly surprised to see Rey standing in front of her, wearing an expression of sombre understanding.  
“Hey, Rose. Thought I’d come down here to have a chat with you. I can return later if you’re busy now.” She offers with a light shrug. She has definitely heard her cry, but she doesn’t address the fact.  
They don’t know each other very well, having worked together only for one month, and a hectic one at that. And yet, just for how she didn’t speak pitiful and useless words, Rose feels she could hug her tight now. Instead she sniffles and manages to muster a brief but sincere smile. “Oh, it’s okay, I’m not that busy. I could use a distraction.”  
Rey nods and looks pensive for a moment. As if she’s burdened by some heavy thoughts too. Every day Rose feels more and more impressed by this woman who has wistful eyes and admirable strength. It’s clear that she has endured much suffering with the sole comfort of her luminous soul.  
“I could use a distraction too. Which brings me here.” Rey starts, throwing Rose a careful look before gently emptying the contents of her satchel on the work bench beside them. “I have a little project. I’ll probably have to start again from zero, but fixing things is what I do best, so I wanted to give this a try first.”  
It’s a broken lightsaber. Rose gasps as more pieces of the puzzle become clearer. It’s the same laser sword Finn has told her about. Once a weapon of deafening power, now it looks almost like a toy, although a very precious one.  
“So our mission is to understand how this works?” She asks, her excitement already skyrocketing. She loves a crafty challenge.  
“Exactly.” Rey replies, rearranging the components and her tools. Her hands linger on the cracked blue crystal with deliberate care. Rose sees a glimmer of something in her hazel eyes and for a moment she thinks Rey is about to cry too. But the other woman just bites her lower lip and gives her a hopeful grin. “When can we start?”


End file.
